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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Attitude

I didn't feel good last weekend, so I mostly rested. By Monday morning, I felt better.  By Monday afternoon, I felt achy all over, very tired and I had a low grade fever.  I came home from work and went straight to bed.  I didn't sleep, but I rested for about an hour and a half.  I thought I was in an Interstitial Cystitis (IC) flare.

Tuesday I didn't feel any better, but by then I was convinced that it was not an IC flare.  I just thought it was just another day in the life of an IC patient. IC patients have to get used to feeling bad most of the time.  So I took some pain relievers, worked from home and then headed to physical therapy.  I didn't feel like going, but I didn't want to skip a week either.

I have been going to physical therapy for pelvic floor dysfunction and vulvodynia for over 6 months now.  One of the treatments my therapist does is skin rolling.  It helps relieve the restrictions of my connective tissue.  It hurts sooo much when she does it, but I know it helps relieve some of my pain in the long run.

This week my therapist was doing the skin rolling on my front upper thighs.  It was in a spot that she hasn't worked on before and it was causing me so much pain.  But I have been going through this for quite some time now, so that was nothing new.  However, my body decided to respond in a different way this week.  

I started feeling dizzy.  I told my therapist "I feel lightheaded as if I'm about to pass out." My body was responding to all the pain.  I almost passed out.  It was just to much for the "ole bod." 

She was able to get in a few more stretches on me, before we called it quits.  I was so disappointed that I drove all that way and didn't have a full session.  But I am thankful that she was able to do about half of what she normally does.

She took my blood pressure and it was 105/65.  Mine usually runs low, but that was lower than normal. I was quickly treated to some Sierra Mist to try to bring up my blood sugar level.  I still felt dizzy every time I moved my head.

She then gave me a choice of 3 different goodies. She had chocolate, a pastry and some kind of fruit snack.  She asked which one I wanted.  I said "Is this one of your trick questions?"  My therapist will ask me questions sometimes to see if I am paying attention and taking her advice or not.  Oh, how sneaky!  She said "No," so I went for the chocolate of course.  I think it was the best piece of chocolate that I have ever eaten.

For about 20 minutes or so we just sat there talking and eating chocolate... (Chocolate is a known bladder irritant, as she usually would say, but today was different.)  I started feeling better and headed straight back home.  I felt fine on the way and all the drama for the day was over.  My therapist kept apologizing to me for what happened.  It wasn't her fault and it wasn't my fault.  It just happened.

We can't always control what happens in our life, but we can manage how we react.  We all have strife in our life...hey, I'm a poet! :) But our attitude can make all the difference.  We can let our struggles control us or we can do our best to control our struggles. 

I am trying to control my situation by helping others.  It makes me feel better to encourage people with IC and other related conditions. You can do this too, it helps take the focus off of you.  I am also exercising every day.  Even though you don't feel like it, you can push yourself to do this.  We all know it is the best thing for our bodies.

I try to connect with others on a daily basis.  I know isolation can make me more depressed. You can do this by being involved with your church, work, or with family and neighbors. Another thing I do is to allow myself to feel unhappy.  I am able to express my feelings through this blog and my journal. You should find an activity or hobby that you enjoy to keep your mind occupied and off of your battles.

And then their are times in our struggles that we feel like we just can't take this anymore!  I know this feeling all too well because I have been there over and over!!  We need to reach out to Jesus to help carry us.

 
Josh Wilson "Carry Me"  I love me some acoustic guitar...
 
Josh Wilson wrote this song about his own struggles with anxiety and panic attacks.  He points out that Christ is bigger than any problem we have and we have to do is say "Christ I need You to carry me."

"Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord." 2 Corinthians 5:6
In this verse Paul sets an example for us to always have a good attitude.  It's not easy to be cheerful when things are not going our way, but we should try not to loose heart or grow weary.

What do yo do to keep a good attitude during your struggles?  What are some of your interests or hobbies that help keep your mind occupied?  Let me know your thoughts below.


Share MayFlowers is a public health and awareness campaign focused primarily on the under-discussed topics of female pelvic and perinatal health, launched by Women's Action Initiative.
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