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Sunday, May 5, 2013

How Many Times?

Thursday was my best day this week until...guess what I did? I OVER did that's what!  How many times will go I go down this road?  My mood was exceptionally good and I felt good physically too.  So I guess I felt somewhat "normal."  Normal is not a feeling I have very often now, since I have been diagnosed with interstitial Cystitis (IC), so I wanted to take advantage of it.

I went shopping for walking shoes after work.  I was hoping to find a pair just like the ones I bought last year, but apparently that is not the way it works.  The style I wanted was long gone and replaced by newer, might I say, much brighter ones.

Well if you know me at all, you know that I love bright colors.  I have chosen bright colors throughout my house.  I prefer bright colors for nail polish, pocketbooks and clothes.  But I didn't really want bright colors for my shoes.

Of course there were other brands with colors that were more dull, but I wanted to stick with the brand that worked so well for me in my last pair.  The salesperson was very helpful and made some good points.  He said that bright colors are best for runners, so that they stand out.  Well, I'm definitely NOT a runner now...I can barely walk most of the time.

By the time I made it home it was one of those times when I could barely walk.  I was in so much pain and so exhausted, I went straight for my sanctuary (see blog post "On The Lighter Side"  I just sat in the bathtub and cried.

I have been worn out since my shopping trip 2 days ago.  I keep thinking how many times will I do this and why?  I think the reason why is because I want to think that I am doing so much better than I really am.  I want to do the things I want to do. I want to do the things that I used to do. But that is MY plan not God's plan for me.

Since I have thought about this so much, I would love to think that I won't over do it again.  I would love to think that I have learned my lesson.  But the truth is, once I have a taste of "normal" life, I will only want more.  You know how the AT & T commercial goes "We want more, we want more!"  Those commercials are so cute!

                                                  AT & T commercial "We Want More"

But how many of us are standing on a road we didn't plan?  One minute you are fine, the next minute you are walking through the shadows of life.  We need to take the time to listen to that still, small voice.  The one that is telling us that there is meaning to what we are going through.  God wants to strengthen our faith for His glory through our struggles.
1 Chronicles 16:11  Seek the LORD and his strength;  seek his presence continually!
I chose the live version of this song, just for my brother!

Have you ever over done it?  Have you found meaning in the struggles you are going through? Share your stories below.

Share MayFlowers is a public health and awareness campaign focused primarily on the under-discussed topics of female pelvic and perinatal health, launched by Women's Action Initiative.
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