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Sunday, July 13, 2014

My Blog Has A New Home


My blog has a new home now.  Just go to www.icmynewlife.com to see my latest posts.  Thank you for your support and  I hope you will continue to follow me and my blog. Hugs an prayers to all!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Just Keep Going!

There was a very sweet lady in our church.  She was always thinking of others and doing for others.  Even when she started having big health issues, she didn't let it get in her way of serving others.

I can't help but compare my own life and health issues with hers.  She was such an inspiration to me to "just keep going."

There is not a single person alive, that if they live long enough, who will not be faced with difficulties with their health, relationships or finances,etc.  I believe when we are faced with these difficult situations it is similar to coming to a fork in the road.

 
Are we going to go one way and complain constantly, get mad at God and feel sorry for ourselves all the time? Or are we going to "just keep going," find peace with God and not use all our energy feeling sorry for ourselves.  Neither way is "a walk in the park," but I have faith that if we "just keep going" our journey will be easier.

Doing things you love, surrounding yourself with positive people and having a "can do" attitude make our problems less difficult.  I'm not saying you will be free from pain, discomfort or worry, but things will be easier with a better attitude.

The sweet lady from my church that was always thinking of others passed away this week.  At the funeral my pastor said "By the way Ms. Hazel lived her life, she preached her own funeral."

Those words touched my heart.  I thought what a beautiful way to be remembered. It was obvious that she affected many lives in a positive way, by the vast number of people at her funeral. Many of which stood up and shared a story about what they recalled about Ms. Hazel.

I want to be remembered like that!!   She had a servant's attitude toward others. Instead of "a what's in for me" kind of demeanor.  She showed love to others all of the time.  She had a meaningful relationship with the Lord that she shared with others. And when things got tough in her life she "just kept going!"

She was a special lady and a great model of how a Christian should live their life.  I want to have that loving, servant attitude that "just keeps going" as long as possible!!

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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Listen To Your Body


On my way home from work Monday I was thinking that as soon as I made it home I was "hitting the hay."  Instead when I walked in my husband said "Do you want to take a walk?"  Of course I didn't really feel like it but it gives us a chance to exercise together and talk together.

It really is a good way for me to release any stress I have from work and ask for Alan's feedback.  He has ALWAYS given me good advice.  However; the problem on this particular day was I needed to listen to my body and rest.  As it turned out I didn't rest much at all.

Once I was back at the house I decided I needed to pay some bills and balance my checkbook.  By the time we ate supper and I took my bath, I was exhausted.

The next day after work I made sure that I listened to my body...I came home and took a nap.  It was one of those naps where you fall asleep and wake up over and over.  Not very good sleep but rest none the less. My bladder and sciatica were bothering me that day. When I woke up I was in still in pain.

Scooter McScoot





Scooter, one of my cats, came to my rescue.  She joined me in bed and crawled up on my chest. She is a tiny cat.  When she opens her mouth to meow all that comes out is a wee little squeak.  Some of the other cats pick on her because she is so small.  She has a very faint purr.  But when I pet her a lot her purr is very fast and soothing. She is always a  sweetheart and loves to be petted. I enjoyed her company for about thirty minutes and then I got up.  

I felt much better after listening to my body, taking a nap and enjoying the comfort of one of my fury friends.







What about spiritual rest for our souls??!  When we are weary and we need comfort Jesus commands us to come to Him and not rely on ourselves.  We are to come to Him as disciples who want to learn from Him not just to receive something from Him. He promises us a very powerful gift "rest for the soul."  It doesn't get any better than that!


My advice is to listen to your body when it is telling you it needs to rest.  When your spirits are down and you don't know what to do, ask Jesus to hep you.  He wants you to come to Him and depend on Him totally. And like Snoopy says "Learn from yesterday and rest this afternoon!"


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Sunday, May 18, 2014

I Am A Flower

As I hurriedly tried to clean my house and make it as comfortable as possible for my family, I also had a sense of excitement. It has been months since I had seen some of them.  It was also Mother's Day and I looked forward to celebrating the life of my mother.  

Alan, my husband, had to work so I knew I wouldn't be able to commit to cooking too.  My sister happily volunteered her husband for the duty.  She also said she would do all of the grocery shopping.  I will gladly host the party if you do all the shopping and cooking!

My brother and his wife arrived about 2:00.  Then my sister and her husband and my Mom.  I quickly asked my sister-in-law to help me.  She started preparing the hamburger patties.  My sister joined in by preparing the vegetables, etc.  I had already prepared a few things to go along with the meal.

My brother-in-law took charge of grilling the burgers.  It took a long time, but I was so thankful that he was able to help so much. He has major pain issues of his own.  But he is fighting the fight that many of us know daily.  I appreciate his help with all of our family celebrations. 

Mama was able to sit back and relax and enjoy her visit with our family and my brother's fury friend.  I thought she looked great and I was so thankful to celebrate the life of a strong, intelligent, kind, faith-filled inspiration in my life.

The flower I gave her matched her shirt!



 

Later that same evening, about 7:30, my daughter came by to see me.  She had worked twelve hours and I know that she was tired.  I was so happy that she came by to visit.  She gave me the sweetest card ever.  It made me very emotional.  It was so thoughtful.  She also gave me one of those gecko looking things to hang on the wall. This one is blue, green and purple.  I can't wait to add him to my collection!
 
 

I have to admit that in the moment of all these things I took them for granted. For one thing I was sooo tired.  I had been up and down out of my chair so many times. I was kaput!  But now that I have had time to reflect on the moments, I realize just how special they were.

How many times do we take God for granted?  We just go along day after day not even thinking of Him at all until something goes wrong and then we expect Him to take care of everything.  We continue to sin and He continues to love us.  We continue to sin and He forgives us as if nothing happened.  He loves us not because of anything that we do, but because of who He is. He loves us despite how many times we fail Him. 

 I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow.  God and His love are forever!

He loves us despite how many times we fail Him.

 
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Sunday, May 11, 2014

My Little Angel




I am delighted to report that I think the Epidural Steroid Injection has helped relieve some of the sciatic nerve pain in my left leg.   I will thankfully take one step down on the pain scale any day of the week!

This past weekend there was a large amount of blood in my urine. It really concerned me.  I called the doctor on call at the hospital and he said he could see me the next day.  I went in and gave an urine sample and he said he didn't see any signs of infection.

Monday I called my Urogynecologist and he sent me to the Imagining Center for an IVP.  The young man that was performing the test was very kind and reassuring.  He explained everything that he was going to do step by step. When he told me he would do an IV and inject contrast in my bladder I said MY BLADDDER??!!  I had already told him that I have Interstitial Cystitis (IC) and he understood my concern with putting anything into my bladder.  He told me it would be fine.  I said " Okay, if you are sure, let's do this!"

He was so thoughtful that he called my doctor just to make sure and to put my mind at ease.  My doctor confirmed that she (my bladder) would be fine.  I knew I was in good hands with this guy because he told me that his wife has IC too.  What were the odds of that happening??

He made my visit on that cold, hard table as pleasant as it could be. He wrapped a compression device my belly to help keep the dye in my kidneys.  I told him he was all over my "no touch zone," but I made my mind up to endure not being comfortable to hopefully get some answers about what is going on with me.

Later that day I called the doctor's office for the results. The test confirmed that there were no kidney stones.  When I went to see my doctor he said my urine test strip showed blood, but under the microscope he did not see any signs of infection. He sent the sample to be cultured.  I should know the results on Monday.  My body has become a mystery and we are just trying to figure it out with one clue at a time.

My daughter, Miranda, came over to do some house cleaning for me the next day.  That afternoon at work extreme exhaustion took over my body.  I came home and rested in the bed for a few minutes.  Miranda was close by cleaning so we were able to talk for a few minutes.  

Then she closed my bedroom door a little and began doing different things around the house. I resolved to use this time to hear the sounds that she made and ponder them in my heart. She fed the cats.  I could her the pitter-patter of her cute little feet walking across the floor.  Soon she was off in another room singing.  My heart was exuberant with love, joy and thankfulness. The sound of her singing lifted my spirits.  To me that was my like an angel from heaven singing to me an early Mother's Day gift.

My Little Angel

I decided to take a pain pill and get out of bed and enjoy my alone time with my daughter as much as I could. It was a special time. Even though my body failed me. The Lord blessed my heart with her visit.

Happy Mother's Day to all women.  We are all unique and we all have special talents.  Let's use them to love and serve others just as my little angel did!!




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Sunday, May 4, 2014

Pain Demons

Monday I went for my second visit to Pain Management.  I had the pleasure of a Lumbar Epidural Steroid Injection.  Since the injection in my sacroiliac joint two weeks ago did not seem to help we tried something different.

It was not fun.  I felt a lot of pressure almost like a menstrual cramp (a dull achy pain) in my back during the injection.  My husband drove me home and I rested most of the evening.

My Tigger Took A Selfie
The next day after work I was in bed with a lot of pain.  I think the pain demons were cranking up the level. Almost as if to say to me...You are not getting rid of us!

One of my kitties were in bed with me.  I felt a great sense of comfort from Tigger.  I concentrated on the soothing sound of his intense purr.  He is one of my oldest and most friendly cats.  He starts purring when you move or look at him.  He is such a sweetie!



  
Is That My Tigger Wearing a Bikini??!!  







 

When I am feeling bad I try to take a break and enjoy the little things in life.  The wonderful, warm sunshine coming through the windows in my living room.  The picture of my beautiful daughter on her wedding day hanging on my refrigerator.  The colorful flowers starting to bloom on my deck.  The cute, tiny baby birds that were just born in a nest on my front porch.

Take charge of the things you CAN control.  You might be sick or be feeling lousy but don't let Interstitial Cystitis or Fibromyalgia or loneliness or whatever you are feeling take control of your life. Take a break and enjoy life.  Ask God to help you and guide you.  You can always count on Him. Regardless of your crisis God is always trustworthy!


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Sunday, April 27, 2014

Broken, Empty and Lonely

I have been working very hard, long hours at The Construction Company this week.  I have been going in early and staying late.  I was working all kinds of different hours, but each day when I left the office and I turned on the radio the exact same song was playing.  You may say what a coincidence...I don't think so!  Take a listen for yourself. 
 
Sidewalk Prophets "Keep Making Me." Live Acoustic Version. Lyrics

The song lyrics are about wanting to be broken, empty and lonely.  Sounds a little crazy doesn't it?  Why would anyone WANT to be all of these things or ANY of these things?!!  Because when adversity hits, we are exposed.  Our true feelings about God come out in the questions we ask Him and the actions we take.

"Why me God??"  or "Why are you doing this to me God??!!" Sound familiar??  It does to me!  Sometimes when we ask God , "Why are you letting this happen to me?"  It may be how we truly feel, but we are accusing God of doing something wrong...ouch!   We are just sure we don't deserve what has come our way.  But sometimes our trials have nothing to do with what we deserve.  Sometimes our trials help us grow closer to God or they help develop character or validate our worship as I read in "Journey" magazine.

This is exactly why I don't want to be healed of all my aches and pains...because all of my pains "keep me real."  It would be hard to turn back for me now.  Since I have experienced pain and I am broken I am more sensitive to the needs of others.

For three days I worked long hours at the office, but I still felt good.  On my lunch break one day I even felt go enough to go shopping!!! I was feeling so happy and "normal."  Late Thursday evening I could feel the life being sucked out of every inch of my body.  This life was replaced with increased leg and bladder pain and I felt achy all over my body. 

This experience brought me back to reality very swiftly.  But my new reality is not all bad.  My new reality helps me to have compassion for others when they are hurting.  I can relate and I am not "so calloused."

It is in those deep, dark, empty times that is when we need to stop thinking about what we want, but seek God's will for our lives.  That's when we are vulnerable and we are open to change our bad habits. Like the habit of telling God what needs to happen in our lives...God I don't deserve this..."still holding onto my will."

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed those days when I felt good.  It was so refreshing not to feel lousy all the time.  I appreciate my good days very much!  But now I understand why I must be broken, empty and lonely sometimes.  It shows me the true nature of my relationship with God.


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"Keep Making Me"
Make me broken
So I can be healed
'Cause I'm so calloused
And now I can't feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make me empty
So I can be filled
'Cause I'm still holding
Onto my will
And I'm completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

[Chorus:]
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
'Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
'Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely

[Chorus]

'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making,
I know You'll keep making
Lord, please keep making me 


Songwriters: MCDONALD, BEN/FREY, DAVID DOUGLAS/MIZELL, SAMUEL C.