Proverbs 23:7 "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he"..
My pain level was high by lunchtime on
Monday, so I took a pain reliever. By 4:00, I was lightheaded and
nauseated. By 5:30, I decided I needed to go home. It was difficult
to drive because I was so dizzy. I ate a few crackers and only a few
bites of supper. I was still extremely nauseated and exhausted.
My daughter, Miranda and her fiance came by the house to pick up her dog. They had good news to tell us! They have set a date for their wedding! I wanted to discuss the plans she had, but I was so weak I could barely function.
I was so frustrated that IC robbed me
of so much of my energy that I could not share in their joy. I had
used all my energy earlier that day just trying to be “normal.” Normal
as in working a full day, normal as in talking to my co-workers,
normal as in spending time with my family and not going to bed.
As a mother, I have looked forward to
the day when my daughter was going to tell me she was planning her
wedding. But I didn't have enough energy to express my happiness, I
barely had enough to speak at all.
By the time I tried to go to sleep that
night, I was a hot mess. I was tense all over my body. My back
hurt. I had sore achy muscles in my shoulders and back and from my
thighs all the way down to my feet. My stomach was swollen and I had
vaginal burning. There wasn't a part of my body that didn't hurt, but
especially my heart.
I was heartbroken that on a day that I
should be so happy, IC and other related conditions made me
miserable. As I closed my eyes to sleep, my head started spinning
from the nausea. Boy, did I feel sorry for me! I cried myself to
sleep.
My week continued to be a series of
nights that I would sleep for a few hours and then wake up and not be
able to fall back asleep for a couple of hours. Then I would wake up
dead tired, go to work, experience a lot of pain, eat supper and then
try to fall asleep again, crying myself to sleep. I repeated the
cycle day after day. I was in a dark place with my thoughts and I
couldn't seem to find my way out.
We have all had similar
experiences like this. As I started writing this post, I had no idea
what message I was supposed to learn or how my experience of
depression and darkness was supposed to be encouraging to you...
If I don't feel well enough to go to
church on Sunday morning, I usually watch “In Touch with Charles
Stanley” on TV. However, when I turned it on today, he was not
preaching. There was a soldier that served in Afghanistan talking.
He said that all of us have experienced loss. It may be the loss of
a loved one, a job or income.
I think with IC patients, it may be the loss of full use of your body, loss of energy, loss of the life you had before or loss of freedom in our daily lives that so many people take for granted. (Feel free to insert your own loss or struggle here.)
I think with IC patients, it may be the loss of full use of your body, loss of energy, loss of the life you had before or loss of freedom in our daily lives that so many people take for granted. (Feel free to insert your own loss or struggle here.)
He said
we need to listen to the message that is being taught through our loss. We need to
embrace the heartache or pain and use it as an ally to further God's
plan. He said staying in the pain becomes our handicap, if we let it...ouch, did somebody just step on my toes?!!?
He said that God takes away things in
our life, so we depend on Him. We learn to depend on God's strength,
listen to Him speak to us daily and that is where true freedom comes
from in our lives.
So if a soldier, who lost both of his legs fighting for our freedom, can see that God is using him through his loss, then I think we owe it to God to seek out freedom in our loss, whatever our own personal loss may be!
I will provide a link to the soldier's story. If you are unable to watch all of the video, at least watch his story about 20 minutes into the video. I think your heart will be blessed!!
Share with me some similar story you have or your thoughts about his story below:
Share with me some similar story you have or your thoughts about his story below:
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I woke up feeling like a hot mess, but I still got to church today. In fact, I'm thankful. I did enjoy. Oh! I can't get through a complete worship service without IC causing me to get up, but I go to the contemporary service, as opposed to the traditional service, where I am not always the only one that gets up. Anyhow, I did not view any of the video so far. It is amazing that some of you still work with what all some of you have been diagnosed with by now.(which many of us don't work now) I would like to be able to. I do need more funds now. Geez! I have not worked in 31 months by now.(and waiting to get a hearing with a law judge) I have got arthritis and degenerative disc disease in my back now.(and currently taking iron pills due to low iron) The system must suck because I know I am not the only one out of our groups that has been denied by now. I worked with IC over 13 years and felt like never going back as an employee more than once. (until I was told I could not go back without the neurosurgeon giving the "OK" for me to)(the one that did the neck fusion) OK. I am carried away and off track by now. I am definitely tired now. I am a war vetran as well. Oh, yeah!
ReplyDeleteWhen I have a flare I feel like my life is over and thats all I will do is sit on the toilet and be in pain. I have Vulvodynia also. When Im not having a flare i still feel my bladder constantly. Its a strange feeling to feel a part inside your body all the time. I compare it to having something in your eye that you feel constantly. Then people can somewhat understand. Well maybe they understand.
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