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Sunday, June 2, 2013
It started out as a good day. I worked from home half of the day and then went into the office to work. I remember talking with a co-worker and suddenly feeling nauseated. I took a Zophran and just kept going. My daughter called and we talked a few minutes. When I hung up the phone, based on the look on my face, my co-worker said “That must have been a bad conversation.” I said “No, I just feel extremely tired all of the sudden!”
Shortly after, it was time to go home and I still felt nauseated and tired. My daughter, Miranda and her boyfriend came to the house and we talked a while. When they left I could feel the life of me leaving and IC taking over my body.
My bladder was burning and hurting. My stomach swelled and had a lot of pressure. My vaginal burning increased tremendously as did my frequent urination. I had no energy and felt very weak. My head was spinning and I feel dizzy.
I watched TV with my husband. I wanted to enjoy his company, trying to hold on to as much normalcy as possible. He cooked supper, but I ate very little. It wasn't much later when I decided to go ahead to bed and try to sleep. I still felt nauseated and the tears started to flow. I feel Interstitial Cystitis (IC) winning the battle and consuming my thoughts.
I was trying to figure out what I had done or ate that was wrong. What was different in my life today? What could I have done to cause this? Why, why, why??!! But I also know that IC can take over no matter what you do or what you eat or what you take...IC won the battle.
I have mixed feelings about this flare (sudden increased intensity of IC symptoms). The good news is I haven't had one since January. The bad news is that I thought the new medication (Elmiron) I am on was going to prevent flares for much longer than it did. I'm happy that I went 4 months without a flare because I was having one about every 6 weeks. But I also feel like IC is winning the war.
I told a friend of mine to pray for me. His response was “Trust Him.” I felt so much peace from just hearing those two words. “Trust Him.”
This song is about life not going the way that you planned. But that God promises us, He will never leave us or forsake us.
Kutless "Even If"