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Monday, February 10, 2014

Let It Go

At first I was relieved.  Then I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  Now I am frustrated.

They decided to cut my hours at The Construction Company because business is slow right now.  I was working about 30-34 hours per week. They want me to only work 20 hours per week now.

I felt relieved because I have been totally exhausted every day.  I know that working is really taking a toll on my body.  But I also feel like it keeps my mind off of the pain.  I hope that cutting my hours will be the relief that my body needs.

After I thought about it I had the "ole kick in the stomach feeling."  I started thinking about having to tell my husband.  I dreaded telling him because I feel like I am letting him down...again!  And of course there is the financial aspect of bringing in a considerable lesser amount of money each month.  And last but not least there is the reality that I may not be able to work full-time any where right are scarce to say the least and my "ole bod" is failing me.

I'm frustrated that I don't have a full-time job now.  It is not what I wanted to happen but maybe it was time for me to lose a little more control of my life...just Let It Go!  I received a little encouragement from watching this episode of 20/20:

It is about a fourteen year old girl who is a dwarf  She has such positive energy. However it was what her Mom said that really stood out to me.  She said "Life is what it is. You can chose to deal with it in a good way or..."    She said they focused on what the teenager could do instead of focusing on what she couldn't do.  The video is only about 6 minutes long.  I hope you will take the time to watch it. You just might receive a blessing too.

It is hard to keep this mindset when all the things that you knew to be "normal" are suddenly taken away from you.  I started to not watch the show because the title is "My Strange Affliction."  I thought they might be "making light" of people who are suffering from different illnesses like Interstitial Cystitis (IC) for example.  Maybe start the show with everyone sitting on a toilet...oh, never mind that was a different show... 

Instead they shared the stories of people who are struggling with different disorders but have chosen to focus on what they can still do and the positive things in their life.  This is so much easier said than done when you are living with suffering day after day. 

I chose to say this prayer so that I can also try to focus on the positive things in my life and Let It Go I hope you will too.

The song below is about letting go of control, ignoring the fear and relying on God for everything we need.  "Let It Go" Tenth Avenue North.  This is the live version of this song. 

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