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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Voices Inside My Head

This week I have had plenty of sleep and rest.  I haven't had any stress at all. I have been relaxing and just taking it easy all week.  I'm not on vacation!   I haven't quit my job...I have had the flu.

It was a difficult way to get some much needed rest, but I will take it any way I can get it.  Sunday evening I started feeling achy allover and my throat started hurting.  I thought I was fighting off a cold.  However Monday morning I woke up with a temperature of 101.4 and I was achy and had a bad cough that made my throat and chest hurt.

Since I had a fever I decided to look on to check out the symptoms of the flu.  I had most of the symptoms and called my doctor and left a message.  I was trying to take a nap when they called me back and said the doctor wanted to see me.

Really?? I did not feel like going to the doctor.  But just in case it was the flu I did want to get some Tamiflu.  So I got dressed and went to the doctor's office.  Hopefully I would not see anyone that I knew.  When I first walked in and signed in the lady in front of me said "Hey Barbara, how are you?"  Through my hoarse, weak voice I mustered the words "Not too good now.  I think I have the flu."  In spite of my flu fog I remembered to give her one of my handy dandy handouts about IC and told her I was trying to raise awareness about my bladder disease.

I sat as far away from everyone as I could.  They promptly called me back.  The doctor said based on my symptoms it sounded like the flu.  He gave me a prescription for some cough medicine and Tamiflu.  He also refilled all my other needed prescriptions.

It has been a long week but I am thankful that I am feeling better now.  I told my Mama that having the flu is just like a Fibromyalgia flare.  I have been saying that for months but until now I had never had the flu.  So I know for sure that it is very similar.  When I have a Fibro flare I feel achy and tired all over.  All I want to do is rest.  I've had a lot of time to think about it and I came up with a the top reasons I would rather have the flu than Fibro:

1.  I went to the doctor and told him my symptoms and he gave me a prescription that will make me well sooner.

2.  I felt sick, I was sick and I was able to rest.

3.  The doctor gave me a piece of paper that said it was ok to be sick and that I could stay out of work.

4.  People call and check on you when you have the flu.

5.  Next year I will be able to take a shot to avoid being sick...ahh, if it were only so simple for Fibro!

Fibromyalgia takes over your whole body and controls the things you do in life.
Now I know what that voice is inside my head:

There is also another voice inside my head.  It says I know that suffering can produce good things.  Suffering can make you persist in difficult times.  Our persistence makes us who we are.  We are made stronger in our hardships and we learn to have hope.  And hope is always a good thing.  I hope that when I am having a bad day, resting in bed, completely exhausted and in pain that I remember the words of this verse. What are your thoughts??!!

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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Scare-dee Cat

This year I told Alan that I wanted to celebrate Valentine's day on Saturday instead of Friday.  That way I would hopefully have more time to rest on Saturday before we went anywhere.
Since my hours have been cut at work I decided to give Alan a somewhat crafty gift that did not cost much money.  I gave him some of his favorite candy,some hand warmers for when he goes hunting,a card and included two coupons.  One for a back rub and one for a foot rub...the only catch is that I have to be having a good day for him to redeem them.  He thought it was a cute idea.

Alan's gift minus the angel.

Alan wanted us to try a new seafood restaurant.  It was about an hour and a half away from our home but I was feeling good so we went for it.

It was a seafood buffet.  I do not like buffets...I don't like standing in line waiting to try to get something to eat.  I decided to order from the menu.  I ordered grilled salmon and shrimp.  I didn't really like the salmon.  So I ate my shrimp and baked potato and I was ready to go.  But Alan had ordered the buffet so he was in line for more food when I finished eating.

Before we left I thought I should use the restroom.  There was also a line for that! I decided that I didn't want to know why the one lady stayed in there so long. I thought if I need to go we can stop on the way.  I could not wait to go home!  However Alan wanted to ride closer to the dam that we rode over on the way.  I was game.  It sounded like a fun adventure to me...and it was!

First we went to the left side and I took some pictures of the lights coming off of the dam.  Then we went to the right side and there was a huge deck across part of the water and picnic tables.  I was so excited as we walked to the deck.  Never mind that it was very cold and windy outside.  I wanted to see as much as I could and take some more pictures.
The lights over Strom Thurmond Dam

The deck across the raging water

Alan asked "Are you scared?" "If you fall into that water there is no coming back."  I said "No."  For once in my life I wasn't the scare-dee cat!!!  I was enjoying being out there just the two of us on a new undertaking.
Scar-dee Cat
It reminded me of our trip to The Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon in 2011.  We took off just the two of us on an adventure that we will never forget.  We always talk about going back just because we had so much fun.
Barbara and Alan Hoover Dam 2011
Grand Canyon 2011

The restaurant certainly was not my favorite but spending time with Alan on an adventure afterwards was the most fun I have had in a long time!

Do you have any suggestions on some adventures to try? 
Let me know your thoughts or comments below.

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Monday, February 10, 2014

Let It Go

At first I was relieved.  Then I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  Now I am frustrated.

They decided to cut my hours at The Construction Company because business is slow right now.  I was working about 30-34 hours per week. They want me to only work 20 hours per week now.

I felt relieved because I have been totally exhausted every day.  I know that working is really taking a toll on my body.  But I also feel like it keeps my mind off of the pain.  I hope that cutting my hours will be the relief that my body needs.

After I thought about it I had the "ole kick in the stomach feeling."  I started thinking about having to tell my husband.  I dreaded telling him because I feel like I am letting him down...again!  And of course there is the financial aspect of bringing in a considerable lesser amount of money each month.  And last but not least there is the reality that I may not be able to work full-time any where right are scarce to say the least and my "ole bod" is failing me.

I'm frustrated that I don't have a full-time job now.  It is not what I wanted to happen but maybe it was time for me to lose a little more control of my life...just Let It Go!  I received a little encouragement from watching this episode of 20/20:

It is about a fourteen year old girl who is a dwarf  She has such positive energy. However it was what her Mom said that really stood out to me.  She said "Life is what it is. You can chose to deal with it in a good way or..."    She said they focused on what the teenager could do instead of focusing on what she couldn't do.  The video is only about 6 minutes long.  I hope you will take the time to watch it. You just might receive a blessing too.

It is hard to keep this mindset when all the things that you knew to be "normal" are suddenly taken away from you.  I started to not watch the show because the title is "My Strange Affliction."  I thought they might be "making light" of people who are suffering from different illnesses like Interstitial Cystitis (IC) for example.  Maybe start the show with everyone sitting on a toilet...oh, never mind that was a different show... 

Instead they shared the stories of people who are struggling with different disorders but have chosen to focus on what they can still do and the positive things in their life.  This is so much easier said than done when you are living with suffering day after day. 

I chose to say this prayer so that I can also try to focus on the positive things in my life and Let It Go I hope you will too.

The song below is about letting go of control, ignoring the fear and relying on God for everything we need.  "Let It Go" Tenth Avenue North.  This is the live version of this song. 

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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Snow Wave

Each time my co-worker even mentioned the word "snow" I did my little snow, well it is more like a wave than a dance...okay, so I just really sat at my desk and lifted my hands in the air.  I told her not to get me all excited about snow if it was not going to happen!!

I am like a kid when I hear about snow.  Where I live if we have one "good snow" a year then I am very happy.  It has been a couple of years since we had a good, fluffy snow that stayed on the ground so we were due.

The day it was supposed to snow I was hoping to go home early from work.  You know like a "snow day" at school when you are let out early or better yet the WHOLE day is a snow day! Our forecast said that the snow would start at 12:00 p.m.  My co-worker and I kept waiting and looking out the window like two youngsters who had nothing to do but wait for the snow and then go play in it.  It would snow a little then stop...nothing to get excited about...yet!

About 4:00 p.m. that afternoon my little snow wave started paying off.  I stayed at work until 5:00 p.m. then I hurried home to enjoy the white stuff.  It was a beautiful, powdery snow.  The kind that makes a great snowman.

All I wanted to do was watch the snow falling and see God's blanket of whiteness fill the outdoors.  I was prepared for the snow storm.  I had bread and milk. My husband had a fire going in our buck stove. When I got home all I had to do was sit back and appreciate the beauty of the flakes falling and rest by the fire...ahhhhh!

The next morning I was able to sleep late and go outside for a walk just as the sun started shining. It was cold but I bundled up really well and headed out for my walk.  I was prepared so well that I didn't even get cold...or maybe that was just a little bit of the "kid in me" coming out saying "I'm not cold!"   Whatever it was I enjoyed my walk and appreciated the beautiful splendor of this winter wonderland.
Yes he is small but he has a big heart!
I was prepared for the snow storm they called Leon, but what about the parents of baby Grace?  She was born in the backseat of her parent's car.  They were on their way to the hospital to give birth, but the weather had them stuck in traffic near Atlanta. Maybe they had been to Lamaze classes.  Maybe since it was not their first child they were pros at birthing babies...or maybe they just remained calm and did the best they could with what they had.

How could they have ever known what they were about to experience?  How do any of us prepare for the things that happen to us in life??  Well from my own experience I think the best way to "prepare" for the storms in our life is to have faith.  I thought my faith was strong...

However, when Interstitial Cystitis (IC) came into my life, it changed my life forever.  If I didn't have faith at all I'm not sure how my life would be now.  Sometimes there are things that happen in our life that rock us to our core.  IC has been one of those changes in my life.

Sometimes God calls us to rely on our faith to guide us.  I'm talking about walking on the water, mind blowing faith.  Faith that calls us out of the boat and into the water. Faith that if we follow will take us out of our comfort zone and into God's will. And even when we stumble and doubt Jesus, He is there to reach out his hand to save us!

It is impossible to know everything that might happen to us in our lives but being prepared can make the rough ride a little less bumpy.  Keeping our faith strong by praying, studying and encouraging others is a good way to give your soul peace and rest.

Now I know how to make it snow around here.  All I have to do is my little snow wave over and over.  Then I just have to make sure I have all the bread and milk I need for the snow storm. I think the best way to be prepared for the storms and trials in our life is to have faith that you can trust God no matter what and remain calm and do the best you can with what you have!

I hope you will share your thoughts below.

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) - Hillsong United

For more information on Interstitial Cystitis 
please visit the ICA's Website

For more information on Fibromyalgia 
please visit the Fibromyalgia Network's Website

For more information on Physical Therapy
please visit Proaxis' website:

You can email me:

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For more information on Physical Therapy
please visit Proaxis' website:

For more information on Interstitial Cystitis 
please visit the ICA's Website

For more information on Fibromyalgia 
please visit the Fibromyalgia Network's Website

You can email me:

You can follow me on Twitter:

You can follow me on Pinterest: