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Sunday, July 13, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Just Keep Going!
There was a very sweet lady in our
church. She was always thinking of others and doing for others. Even
when she started having big health issues, she didn't let it get in her
way of serving others.
I can't help but compare my own life and health issues with hers. She was such an inspiration to me to "just keep going."
There is not a single person alive, that if they live long enough, who will not be faced with difficulties with their health, relationships or finances,etc. I believe when we are faced with these difficult situations it is similar to coming to a fork in the road.
Are we going to go one way and complain constantly, get mad at God and feel sorry for ourselves all the time? Or are we going to "just keep going," find peace with God and not use all our energy feeling sorry for ourselves. Neither way is "a walk in the park," but I have faith that if we "just keep going" our journey will be easier.
Doing things you love, surrounding yourself with positive people and having a "can do" attitude make our problems less difficult. I'm not saying you will be free from pain, discomfort or worry, but things will be easier with a better attitude.
The sweet lady from my church that was always thinking of others passed away this week. At the funeral my pastor said "By the way Ms. Hazel lived her life, she preached her own funeral."
Those words touched my heart. I thought what a beautiful way to be remembered. It was obvious that she affected many lives in a positive way, by the vast number of people at her funeral. Many of which stood up and shared a story about what they recalled about Ms. Hazel.
I want to be remembered like that!! She had a servant's attitude toward others. Instead of "a what's in for me" kind of demeanor. She showed love to others all of the time. She had a meaningful relationship with the Lord that she shared with others. And when things got tough in her life she "just kept going!"
She was a special lady and a great model of how a Christian should live their life. I want to have that loving, servant attitude that "just keeps going" as long as possible!!
I can't help but compare my own life and health issues with hers. She was such an inspiration to me to "just keep going."
There is not a single person alive, that if they live long enough, who will not be faced with difficulties with their health, relationships or finances,etc. I believe when we are faced with these difficult situations it is similar to coming to a fork in the road.
Are we going to go one way and complain constantly, get mad at God and feel sorry for ourselves all the time? Or are we going to "just keep going," find peace with God and not use all our energy feeling sorry for ourselves. Neither way is "a walk in the park," but I have faith that if we "just keep going" our journey will be easier.
Doing things you love, surrounding yourself with positive people and having a "can do" attitude make our problems less difficult. I'm not saying you will be free from pain, discomfort or worry, but things will be easier with a better attitude.
The sweet lady from my church that was always thinking of others passed away this week. At the funeral my pastor said "By the way Ms. Hazel lived her life, she preached her own funeral."
Those words touched my heart. I thought what a beautiful way to be remembered. It was obvious that she affected many lives in a positive way, by the vast number of people at her funeral. Many of which stood up and shared a story about what they recalled about Ms. Hazel.
I want to be remembered like that!! She had a servant's attitude toward others. Instead of "a what's in for me" kind of demeanor. She showed love to others all of the time. She had a meaningful relationship with the Lord that she shared with others. And when things got tough in her life she "just kept going!"
She was a special lady and a great model of how a Christian should live their life. I want to have that loving, servant attitude that "just keeps going" as long as possible!!
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Sunday, May 25, 2014
Listen To Your Body
On my way home from work Monday I was thinking that as soon as I made it home I was "hitting the hay." Instead when I walked in my husband said "Do you want to take a walk?" Of course I didn't really feel like it but it gives us a chance to exercise together and talk together.
It really is a good way for me to release any stress I have from work and ask for Alan's feedback. He has ALWAYS given me good advice. However; the problem on this particular day was I needed to listen to my body and rest. As it turned out I didn't rest much at all.
Once I was back at the house I decided I needed to pay some bills and balance my checkbook. By the time we ate supper and I took my bath, I was exhausted.
The next day after work I made sure that I listened to my body...I came home and took a nap. It was one of those naps where you fall asleep and wake up over and over. Not very good sleep but rest none the less. My bladder and sciatica were bothering me that day. When I woke up I was in still in pain.
 | ||||
| Scooter McScoot |
Scooter, one of my cats, came to my rescue. She joined me in bed and crawled up on my chest. She is a tiny cat. When she opens her mouth to meow all that comes out is a wee little squeak. Some of the other cats pick on her because she is so small. She has a very faint purr. But when I pet her a lot her purr is very fast and soothing. She is always a sweetheart and loves to be petted. I enjoyed her company for about thirty minutes and then I got up.
I felt much better after listening to my body, taking a nap and enjoying the comfort of one of my fury friends.
What about spiritual rest for our souls??! When we are weary and we need comfort Jesus commands us to come to Him and not rely on ourselves. We are to come to Him as disciples who want to learn from Him not just to receive something from Him. He promises us a very powerful gift "rest for the soul." It doesn't get any better than that!
My advice is to listen to your body when it is telling you it needs to rest. When your spirits are down and you don't know what to do, ask Jesus to hep you. He wants you to come to Him and depend on Him totally. And like Snoopy says "Learn from yesterday and rest this afternoon!"
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Sunday, May 18, 2014
I Am A Flower
As I hurriedly tried to clean my house and make it as comfortable as possible for my family, I also had a sense of excitement. It has been months since I had seen some of them. It was also Mother's Day and I looked forward to celebrating the life of my mother.
Alan, my husband, had to work so I knew I wouldn't be able to commit to cooking too. My sister happily volunteered her husband for the duty. She also said she would do all of the grocery shopping. I will gladly host the party if you do all the shopping and cooking!
My brother and his wife arrived about 2:00. Then my sister and her husband and my Mom. I quickly asked my sister-in-law to help me. She started preparing the hamburger patties. My sister joined in by preparing the vegetables, etc. I had already prepared a few things to go along with the meal.
My brother-in-law took charge of grilling the burgers. It took a long time, but I was so thankful that he was able to help so much. He has major pain issues of his own. But he is fighting the fight that many of us know daily. I appreciate his help with all of our family celebrations.
Mama was able to sit back and relax and enjoy her visit with our family and my brother's fury friend. I thought she looked great and I was so thankful to celebrate the life of a strong, intelligent, kind, faith-filled inspiration in my life.
Later that same evening, about 7:30, my daughter came by to see me. She had worked twelve hours and I know that she was tired. I was so happy that she came by to visit. She gave me the sweetest card ever. It made me very emotional. It was so thoughtful. She also gave me one of those gecko looking things to hang on the wall. This one is blue, green and purple. I can't wait to add him to my collection!
I have to admit that in the moment of all these things I took them for granted. For one thing I was sooo tired. I had been up and down out of my chair so many times. I was kaput! But now that I have had time to reflect on the moments, I realize just how special they were.
How many times do we take God for granted? We just go along day after day not even thinking of Him at all until something goes wrong and then we expect Him to take care of everything. We continue to sin and He continues to love us. We continue to sin and He forgives us as if nothing happened. He loves us not because of anything that we do, but because of who He is. He loves us despite how many times we fail Him.
Alan, my husband, had to work so I knew I wouldn't be able to commit to cooking too. My sister happily volunteered her husband for the duty. She also said she would do all of the grocery shopping. I will gladly host the party if you do all the shopping and cooking!
My brother and his wife arrived about 2:00. Then my sister and her husband and my Mom. I quickly asked my sister-in-law to help me. She started preparing the hamburger patties. My sister joined in by preparing the vegetables, etc. I had already prepared a few things to go along with the meal.
My brother-in-law took charge of grilling the burgers. It took a long time, but I was so thankful that he was able to help so much. He has major pain issues of his own. But he is fighting the fight that many of us know daily. I appreciate his help with all of our family celebrations.
Mama was able to sit back and relax and enjoy her visit with our family and my brother's fury friend. I thought she looked great and I was so thankful to celebrate the life of a strong, intelligent, kind, faith-filled inspiration in my life.
 |
| The flower I gave her matched her shirt! |
Later that same evening, about 7:30, my daughter came by to see me. She had worked twelve hours and I know that she was tired. I was so happy that she came by to visit. She gave me the sweetest card ever. It made me very emotional. It was so thoughtful. She also gave me one of those gecko looking things to hang on the wall. This one is blue, green and purple. I can't wait to add him to my collection!
I have to admit that in the moment of all these things I took them for granted. For one thing I was sooo tired. I had been up and down out of my chair so many times. I was kaput! But now that I have had time to reflect on the moments, I realize just how special they were.
How many times do we take God for granted? We just go along day after day not even thinking of Him at all until something goes wrong and then we expect Him to take care of everything. We continue to sin and He continues to love us. We continue to sin and He forgives us as if nothing happened. He loves us not because of anything that we do, but because of who He is. He loves us despite how many times we fail Him.
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow. God and His love are forever!
He loves us despite how many times we fail Him.
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Sunday, May 11, 2014
My Little Angel
I am delighted to report that I think the Epidural Steroid Injection has helped relieve some of the sciatic nerve pain in my left leg. I will thankfully take one step down on the pain scale any day of the week!
This past weekend there was a large amount of blood in my urine. It really concerned me. I called the doctor on call at the hospital and he said he could see me the next day. I went in and gave an urine sample and he said he didn't see any signs of infection.
Monday I called my Urogynecologist and he sent me to the Imagining Center for an IVP. The young man that was performing the test was very kind and reassuring. He explained everything that he was going to do step by step. When he told me he would do an IV and inject contrast in my bladder I said MY BLADDDER??!! I had already told him that I have Interstitial Cystitis (IC) and he understood my concern with putting anything into my bladder. He told me it would be fine. I said " Okay, if you are sure, let's do this!"
He was so thoughtful that he called my doctor just to make sure and to put my mind at ease. My doctor confirmed that she (my bladder) would be fine. I knew I was in good hands with this guy because he told me that his wife has IC too. What were the odds of that happening??
He made my visit on that cold, hard table as pleasant as it could be. He wrapped a compression device my belly to help keep the dye in my kidneys. I told him he was all over my "no touch zone," but I made my mind up to endure not being comfortable to hopefully get some answers about what is going on with me.
Later that day I called the doctor's office for the results. The test confirmed that there were no kidney stones. When I went to see my doctor he said my urine test strip showed blood, but under the microscope he did not see any signs of infection. He sent the sample to be cultured. I should know the results on Monday. My body has become a mystery and we are just trying to figure it out with one clue at a time.
My daughter, Miranda, came over to do some house cleaning for me the next day. That afternoon at work extreme exhaustion took over my body. I came home and rested in the bed for a few minutes. Miranda was close by cleaning so we were able to talk for a few minutes.
Then she closed my bedroom door a little and began doing different things around the house. I resolved to use this time to hear the sounds that she made and ponder them in my heart. She fed the cats. I could her the pitter-patter of her cute little feet walking across the floor. Soon she was off in another room singing. My heart was exuberant with love, joy and thankfulness. The sound of her singing lifted my spirits. To me that was my like an angel from heaven singing to me an early Mother's Day gift.
 |
| My Little Angel |
Happy Mother's Day to all women. We are all unique and we all have special talents. Let's use them to love and serve others just as my little angel did!!
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Sunday, May 4, 2014
Pain Demons
Monday I went for my second visit to Pain Management. I had the pleasure of a Lumbar Epidural Steroid Injection. Since the injection in my sacroiliac joint two weeks ago did not seem to help we tried something different.
It was not fun. I felt a lot of pressure almost like a menstrual cramp (a dull achy pain) in my back during the injection. My husband drove me home and I rested most of the evening.
The next day after work I was in bed with a lot of pain. I think the pain demons were cranking up the level. Almost as if to say to me...You are not getting rid of us!
One of my kitties were in bed with me. I felt a great sense of comfort from Tigger. I concentrated on the soothing sound of his intense purr. He is one of my oldest and most friendly cats. He starts purring when you move or look at him. He is such a sweetie!
When I am feeling bad I try to take a break and enjoy the little things in life. The wonderful, warm sunshine coming through the windows in my living room. The picture of my beautiful daughter on her wedding day hanging on my refrigerator. The colorful flowers starting to bloom on my deck. The cute, tiny baby birds that were just born in a nest on my front porch.
Take charge of the things you CAN control. You might be sick or be feeling lousy but don't let Interstitial Cystitis or Fibromyalgia or loneliness or whatever you are feeling take control of your life. Take a break and enjoy life. Ask God to help you and guide you. You can always count on Him. Regardless of your crisis God is always trustworthy!
It was not fun. I felt a lot of pressure almost like a menstrual cramp (a dull achy pain) in my back during the injection. My husband drove me home and I rested most of the evening.
 |
| My Tigger Took A Selfie |
One of my kitties were in bed with me. I felt a great sense of comfort from Tigger. I concentrated on the soothing sound of his intense purr. He is one of my oldest and most friendly cats. He starts purring when you move or look at him. He is such a sweetie!
 | ||||||||||
| Is That My Tigger Wearing a Bikini??!! |
When I am feeling bad I try to take a break and enjoy the little things in life. The wonderful, warm sunshine coming through the windows in my living room. The picture of my beautiful daughter on her wedding day hanging on my refrigerator. The colorful flowers starting to bloom on my deck. The cute, tiny baby birds that were just born in a nest on my front porch.
Take charge of the things you CAN control. You might be sick or be feeling lousy but don't let Interstitial Cystitis or Fibromyalgia or loneliness or whatever you are feeling take control of your life. Take a break and enjoy life. Ask God to help you and guide you. You can always count on Him. Regardless of your crisis God is always trustworthy!
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Sunday, April 27, 2014
Broken, Empty and Lonely
I have been working very hard, long hours at The Construction Company this week. I have been going in early and staying late. I was working all kinds of different hours, but each day when I left the office and I turned on the radio the exact same song was playing. You may say what a coincidence...I don't think so! Take a listen for yourself.
This is exactly why I don't want to be healed of all my aches and pains...because all of my pains "keep me real." It would be hard to turn back for me now. Since I have experienced pain and I am broken I am more sensitive to the needs of others.
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"Keep Making Me"
Make me broken
So I can be healed
'Cause I'm so calloused
And now I can't feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken
Make me empty
So I can be filled
'Cause I'm still holding
Onto my will
And I'm completed
When you are with me
Make me empty
[Chorus:]
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me
Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
'Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
'Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely
[Chorus]
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making,
I know You'll keep making
Lord, please keep making me
Songwriters: MCDONALD, BEN/FREY, DAVID DOUGLAS/MIZELL, SAMUEL C.
Sidewalk Prophets "Keep Making Me." Live Acoustic Version. Lyrics
The song lyrics are about wanting to be broken, empty and lonely. Sounds a little crazy doesn't it? Why would anyone WANT to be all of these things or ANY of these things?!! Because when adversity hits, we are exposed. Our true feelings about God come out in the questions we ask Him and the actions we take.
"Why me God??" or "Why are you doing this to me God??!!" Sound familiar?? It does to me! Sometimes when we ask God , "Why are you letting this happen to me?" It may be how we truly feel, but we are accusing God of doing something wrong...ouch! We are just sure we don't deserve what has come our way. But sometimes our trials have nothing to do with what we deserve. Sometimes our trials help us grow closer to God or they help develop character or validate our worship as I read in "Journey" magazine.
This is exactly why I don't want to be healed of all my aches and pains...because all of my pains "keep me real." It would be hard to turn back for me now. Since I have experienced pain and I am broken I am more sensitive to the needs of others.
For three days I worked long hours at the office, but I still felt good. On my lunch break one day I even felt go enough to go shopping!!! I was feeling so happy and "normal." Late Thursday evening I could feel the life being sucked out of every inch of my body. This life was replaced with increased leg and bladder pain and I felt achy all over my body.
This experience brought me back to reality very swiftly. But my new reality is not all bad. My new reality helps me to have compassion for others when they are hurting. I can relate and I am not "so calloused."
It is in those deep, dark, empty times that is when we need to stop thinking about what we want, but seek God's will for our lives. That's when we are vulnerable and we are open to change our bad habits. Like the habit of telling God what needs to happen in our lives...God I don't deserve this..."still holding onto my will."
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed those days when I felt good. It was so refreshing not to feel lousy all the time. I appreciate my good days very much! But now I understand why I must be broken, empty and lonely sometimes. It shows me the true nature of my relationship with God.
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"Keep Making Me"
Make me broken
So I can be healed
'Cause I'm so calloused
And now I can't feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken
Make me empty
So I can be filled
'Cause I'm still holding
Onto my will
And I'm completed
When you are with me
Make me empty
[Chorus:]
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me
Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
'Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
'Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely
[Chorus]
'Til You are my one desire
'Til You are my one true love
'Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making,
I know You'll keep making
Lord, please keep making me
Songwriters: MCDONALD, BEN/FREY, DAVID DOUGLAS/MIZELL, SAMUEL C.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Desperation
Since I have been diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis (IC) I have had chronic pain. I have chronic pelvic, back and sciatic pain. I have tried several different treatments and I have had some improvements, but the sciatica seems to be worse. I recently decided to go to pain management. In my mind this was always a last resort. I would only go if I had exhausted all my other options. Well, here I am. It seems there are no other options and I am desperate.
My appointment was scheduled for this week. I went with high expectations and a hopeful heart. After a brief discussion with the pain management doctor, we decided to try a steroid injection in my sacroiliac joint. The thought process was that my issue may be sacroiliitis instead of sciatica. It seemed like a good option with minimal risk.
After the injection I went to work and felt good for that day. The next day I felt good too. I thought this was the "magic" I needed. However, by Wednesday my sciatica came back.
Last Sunday morning after I first woke up I reached out to move some clothes and I hollered out in pain. I had pulled a muscle in my back. So I had started taking muscle relaxers. After thinking about, the couple of days when I felt good were when I was taking the muscle relaxers. Whatever the reason the pain is still there so I will have to keep trying.
When you are in desperate situations you do desperate things. I was recently at a small Bible study group. We were discussing the betrayal of Peter. He felt desperate and he denied Jesus three times. Sounds like a terrible thing to do but if we were in Peter's situation we may have done the same thing. We might even do it on a daily basis and don't even realize it.
Peter said he would stand by Jesus even if he had to die with him. He said he would never disown him. He denied Him three different times. After Peter realized what had happened his faith was made stronger. I told the small group that it reminded me of my life with IC. When I first became sick I believe my faith was being tested. Even though I was a Christian I questioned why I was suffering. It was as if I was relying on just myself to make it through the difficult times.
"The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and wept bitterly." Luke 22: 61-62
Through this whole crazy ride at least one thing has improved. I know I trust God through the most negative of circumstances. I have developed a deeper dependence on God. I rely on God and His Word to make it through each day.
We can say what we think we will do in certain circumstances but until we are "warming by the fire of the enemy" we do not know exactly what we will do. We can build our faith by studying God's word, praying and making every effort to make God first in our lives so that we can hopefull have a faith building experience...just like Peter.
 |
| Peter warming by the fire. |
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