My New Life: I Am Toast

Sunday, March 30, 2014

I Am Toast


This what I feel like by Friday!

Toast...I am toast. I could not wait to go home after work, put on my jammies, fire up my heating pads and go to sleep. I took something to help me sleep, but go figure, I couldn't fall asleep.

As I tossed and turned and stretched trying to be comfortable enough to fall asleep, the pain was just too much for me to take. The pain and the game of talking, laughing and pretending that I am not a miserable mess was just too much!! By Friday, after working all week, etc, etc....I am toast!

When Alan came home I wanted to talk to him and spend a few minutes with him. I was getting ready to go back to bed and walked away. He said "Barbara," "Barbara." I came back to him almost in tears. I said "Why did you call me Barbara? You always call me "bb." I knew that I was at my breaking point. I decided to take a pain pill and go to bed. Do you ever feel that way??!! He didn't mean anything bad by it. I knew I was overly sensitive, so they best thing for me to do was rest.

My dear sweet husband went to pick up our supper, so we didn't have to literally eat toast for supper. I took a hot bath with Epsom salt before he came back home. I felt better my the time he came back.

I can really relate to her!
When I found out that the Administrative Assistant at our church was starting another job, I walked up to the Pastor and said "I will help." "I can't do much, but I will do what I can." I musta been feelin' good that day, lol. So officially this week I started working at the church on Wednesdays. I really enjoyed my first day. The Holy Spirit has been leading me to help in this part of our church's ministry for a long time.

This week I worked at the church and then needed to go straight to my Construction Company job. Then I went back to church for Bible study that evening...I am beginning to smell something...it smells like toast!

The next day after work, Alan and I meet Miranda at a restaurant to celebrate her 24th birthday...Boy, that makes me feel old! We all enjoyed ourselves very much. Even though I loved the time spent with my daughter immensely it contributed to my toast feeling even more.

Each week I work I end up feeling like toast, but each week I also feel blessed to have my beautiful daughter, my caring husband and my church family. I have a lot of struggles, but I can still do what God needs me to do. He can use me through my struggles and make me stronger than I ever thought I could be.